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Friday, December 10, 2010

From The No Shit Department- Auction Hunters On Spike Is FAKE.

I have watched a few episodes and though I'm new to the storage auction world, after a couple marriages, owning several businesses, and 35 years on this mud ball called earth I can smell shit a mile away, 97.4% of the time.

You, gentlemen, smell of SHIT. 


Why do they smell of shit you ask? Read on.

  1. They always find gold. Not the element gold per se, but they pay $1 for a locker with $10,000 worth of shit in it. ALWAYS. I smell a setup or two.
  2. Using a plasma torch to open a safe? REALLY? And they thought there was a gun in there to begin with! Anyone out there want to share with the class what ammunition does when it gets too warm......? Anyone......? IT FUCKING BLOWS UP! How the hell was that a good plan? It would have been a tad safer to employ the services of a skilled locksmith.
  3. What do they do with ALL of the stuff? We only see them sell 1 or 2 gems per unit. They never even mention cleaning the units out or anything about the reality of the business.
  4. They took a $650 truck with more waves in the body work than a fat girl's ass, did almost zero prep work, painted it with a broom, DIDN'T FIX THE ENGINE like they said they did and sold it for $6,000? Holy shit I'm in the wrong business. That truck was worth maybe $1,000.
NICE DIMPLY PAINT!
Here is the #1 reason why I say the show is fake. How the hell can you drive a truck with an inoperative cooling system home? Further, why the hell would you pay $6,000 for it?!!!??? This pic below was taken from the end of the show when the "buyer" (read that as "paid actor") opened the hood. I know the hose was off in the beginning too, but this was at the end when the buyer was inspecting the truck. 



Beyond all that, the main “character”, Allen comes off as an arrogant asshole. Just watching how he acts when he's selling something reeks of used car salesmanship and that whole “I'm smarter than you” attitude sucks.

There is no pot of gold at the end of the auction rainbow, only the smell of leprechaun farts and a hint of victory for a few hard working people who kicked the leprechaun's ass. This show is doing this whole industry a disservice and I feel pity for people who think this is a real goldmine full of easy money then want to go do it themselves. If you are really interested in this business, go get a reality check from Glendon Cameron at www.urbanpackrat.com.

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